All Mine
by Ellixer
Summary: An evolution of friendship to love, with a little help from the God's.


In the deepest depths of my fantasies we are one. There are no barriers standing between us anymore, not even the greatest one of all; ourselves. God's and warlords have tried and failed to keep us apart. Yet still we stand so far away from each other despite everything. In the deepness of my fantasies, she is the king to my queen. We live as if there is nothing bearing down on us with every second that passes by.

I can't live in my head, my dreams. That would soon prove fatal in so many ways. Soon my soul would crush if a sword didn't crush my body first. I steal these moments to live in a place where I can truly be happy. She's completely unaware of this inner turmoil I face on a daily basis. I'm sure she's shoved any true feelings so deep down, no one could find them. So we live in this fallacy of being best friends and nothing more. Though by the God's I want so much more.

I don't think I could ever try to live the life that I could be happy with anyone else. I lied to myself once and still the Fates seemed to have stepped in and brought it to an end. I never wanted him dead but I couldn't have lived that life forever. What do I do when I can't hide the fact that I'm in love with my best friend anymore?

I look up from my scroll as she walks back into camp, dropping an arm load of dry wood and kindling. Barely a glance in my direction as she settles down into her routine of sliding that wet stone along her blade. A constant scrape, scrape, scrape and I'm lulled back into my fantasy world.

Once there I can almost feel her fingers on my body. I'm lost in the deep pools of her eyes that hold an intensity and a promise of things to come. But I have to stop myself there before I fall too deep into the abyss. I watch her from across the fire. Her face is, as always, an unreadable mask of stoicism. I feel the weight of giants on my shoulders. She doesn't seem to realize that my constant search for meaning and for good in all that we do, is simply a way to keep me rushing headlong into the arms of disappointment.

Laying back on my bed roll, I lace my fingers together under my head. Tonight the night sky sparkles with so many jewels I want to reach up and grab a handful. What if we run out of chances? What if this hole inside is never filled? I listen as she lays down on the other side of the fire. One of the first times in a long time that we haven't slept side by side.

I ramble on as only I can do. I'm making up a story as we walk as usual, but there is one critical difference; I am constantly touching her. As she's on the horse my fingers graze her thigh or maybe her calf. It doesn't matter if there's a leather boot in the way, she stiffens slightly at the touch. It's enough.

As we walk side by side, my hand will graze hers, or maybe I'll grab her arm in excitement, pulling her against me. The thing is to be subtle without actually being subtle. But when my story ends I drift off into my own thoughts. I am beginning this rather naive way of expressing myself. We've both died, I've given my all to her, and at the end of the day she still holds back from me. These little kid games aren't going to change her mind. So what does that leave me with?

'Something wrong Gabrielle?' Xena's voice breaks me from my thoughts.

'Huh? Oh, uh no I was just thinking. '

'When aren't you?' She grins at me but I find it hard to return the sentiment. 'What's wrong?' She asks after I fail to respond.

'It's nothing Xena.' She stops walking, grabbing my hand to keep me from moving forward.

'Don't lie to me.' Her voice has softened considerably. I don't want to turn to face her, knowing my face will betray my soul.

'I think I'm just tired.' A barely audible sigh escapes her lips as she obviously doesn't believe me.

'Gabrielle..' She starts but immediately tensed, hands going to her sword. Now on alert I listen, trying to figure out what's set Xena off.

'How many?' I ask.

'Too many.' She doesn't have her usual bravado so common pre battle.

'Xena..'

'You need to run.' She cuts me off. 'That way.' She jerks her head to the left. 'Hide, I'll find you.'

'Xena.'

'Now!' She growls as the sound of hooves begins to penetrate the air. I hesitate a moment longer before running into the woods. A few steps in I hear her war cry and the clash of metal. The desire to turn back is nearly overwhelming but I continue my headlong run through the trees. But soon I have a sense I'm not alone. Immediately I stop my perilous crashing through the trees and listen. The distant sound of battle still fills the air. Desperately I try to calm my breathing, to control the wild beating of my heart. My staff raised in front of me, I scan my surroundings. A twig snaps, leaves rustle. Someone is stalking me.

'Show yourself. ' I yell. A cruel laugh answers, then another. This isn't going to end well.

'Little girl!' A thick accent sings out.

'I think she wants to fight.' Another voice, same thick accent. 'He told us it would be worth it.' Laughter echoes. Where's Xena? Suddenly I feel myself knocked backwards a few steps, pain radiating from my upper body. Still no one shows themselves and I'm confused. Looking down i see a knife protruding from my right shoulder. Stumbling a few steps, I nearly fall over in shock. As I look up again a ragged man stands a few feet before me. Gathering my strength I swing my staff outward, ignoring the searing pain. He laughs, easily dodging out of my way. I watch his eyes flick behind me. Swinging my staff hard behind me, it connects in the temple with the man's partner. He groans, slumping to the ground. In this time however the other man has bridged the gap, his foot striking my ribs with painful accuracy.

I stumble, falling over his fallen comrade and landing with a resounding thud on my back. I'm frantic to make my lungs work again, my hands scrambling for my lost staff. The man leers at me, stalking closer till he stands right above me.

'Still a pretty thing, even with all the blood.' He straddles my waist, licking his lips with a lascivious grin. As my lungs begin to work again I panic for new reasons. The man begins groping at my body and I find my staff isn't within my reach. He moves to plant gnarled lips on mine and I act out of pure instinct. Pulling the knife from my shoulder, I plunge it into his neck, scrambling to my feet as his hands scrape his throat in surprise. Without thinking, I grab my staff and continue my run into the depths of the forest, crashing through the greenery without a backwards glance.

I fling the blood and gore from my sword before wiping the remainder off on a nearby body. It hadn't initially been my intention to kill, but they insisted. These men had come here specifically seeking us out on the word of Ares. I shudder at the mere thought of his name. His goal is for me to fight at his side, to conquer the known world with his name on my lips. The God of War refuses to accept that I am not the same warlord, I am no warlord at all.

Gabrielle?! Reality comes crashing at me with a vengeance. If Ares sent these men, he no doubt had a plan in mind for Gabrielle. I take off in a sprint, following the rather obvious trail she left. It doesn't take me long to notice she was followed by two men. They split, the footprints diverging to surround her. Within minutes I come upon a scene I had not prepared myself for. One man lies unconscious while another lies dead, a dagger to his throat. But Gabrielle didn't come out of this encounter unscathed. A trail of blood leads away from the scene, deeper into the trees.

My heart is in my throat with the thought of what I might stumble upon. I whisper her name to myself, willing the God's to keep her alive. In moments I see her in the dimming light, body slumped against a tree. I stop breathing until I reach her.

'Gabrielle?' I crouch down, tentative fingers reach out to her pulse. Her heart still pumps and I cant stop the sob that crawls up my throat.

'Xena?' Her breathy whisper startles me into action. Her skin is pale and clammy, no doubt due to the loss of blood. 'My shoulder. ' she croaks, eyes barely open and staring off in the distance. I probe her wound. The screams this elicits hurts my soul.

'I'm sorry honey.' I whisper into her ear as I scan our surroundings. 'I need you to stay with me ok?' A moan from her is the only response I receive. 'This is going to hurt but I have to get you out of here.' I sweep hair from her face, desperately trying to get her to focus on me. Looking around one more time, I sweep her into my arms and take off as quickly as I can manage. In no time I'm back on the road, throwing Gabrielle over Argos back.

'Come on girl.' I nudge her into a full run. The next village isn't far and I know time is of the essence.

I lay her down gently on the millet mattress, pulling off her boots and soiled top. Her wound still weeps blood and I can't judge its depth.

'Where's your healer?' I yell at the innkeeper behind me.

'Dead.' He says with a tremble in his voice.

'Hades!' I look around the room. 'Get me a fresh bucket of water, clean rags, and extra wood for the hearth.' He nods, scurrying away as quickly as he can. I light a fire with the scraps of wood left in the fireplace. It hasn't been used much due to the summer's heat, but I'm going to need to boil water and possibly cauterize her wound. I race back out of the inn and grab my saddle bags. There should be enough herbs to stave off infection but I may have to go out and get more. The innkeeper returns, leaving the items on a table before nervously speaking.

'I will feed and stable your steed.' Without waiting for a response, he's gone again, closing the door behind him.

'Gabrielle. ' I call her name over and over to no avail. She's lost to the darkness of unconsciousness. Leaving her side, I search through my things for the correct herbs. I need to sew up her wound and pack a poultice over it. If the bleeding continues I will need to cauterize the wound. No matter what, I have to keep the infection away, that will be the most imperative part of the whole process.

It's been a day, maybe more. I've been by her side without fail, refusing to even sleep in case something should happen. But my eyes feel leaden, my body ready to fall into Morpheus's realm. Finally I pull off my boots and leathers, putting on a clean shift before crawling into the bed beside her. Molding myself to her side, i wrap an arm around her waist. Should she wake i will be right here waiting for her. My eyes finally close and i succumb to sleep.

I'm wandering the forest alone in the dark. Pain radiates throughout my body, but in more of an annoying way than anything else. I can't believe Xena hasn't found me yet. Has something happened to her? No, not Xena, I refuse to believe that.

'You haven't realized it yet have you.' A voice surrounds me, commanding and sure. I'm turning in circles, looking for the source. Another turn and I'm sitting on a log in front of a fire.

'He refuses to accept the Fates.' Aphrodite to my left, pink and flowery.

'Xena refuses also.' Artemis to my right.

'Yes but it's in her heart. It's only a matter of time.' My head swings from one to the other as they talk.

'If he continues to mess with the Fates, there may not be any more time.' They talk as if I'm not here.

'Do you think even Ares can stop what is between them Artemis?' Aphrodite is more serious than I've ever seen her.

'Queen of my Amazons, do you know why you are here?'

'We were attacked on the road…'

'Oh sweet Gabrielle. You are hovering between life and death. Which would you choose?'

'Life of course, I can't leave Xena.' Aphrodite smiles across to Artemis.

'And what if she never shared these feelings?' Artemis asks.

'What feelings?' I look away from them both.

'You can't hide, not from us and definitely not the Goddess of love sweetheart.' Aphrodite grabs my hands in hers.

'It's enough to always be by her side.' I confess, for I know this is true.

'You will be given the chance to fix what Ares has tried to destroy. I can't promise he won't try again so you should take this opportunity and use it.' Artemis is gone without another word.

'What fate is Xena refusing?' I ask Aphrodite.

'She refuses her soulmate.' With a wink, the Goddess of Love is gone. I'm left to sit alone with my thoughts and wonder if all this was real.

Fingers entwine with mine and I almost don't want to open my eyes for fear I'm dreaming. Her breathing has changed, she's awake and I can feel her eyes on me.

'Xena.' She whispers my name, and as it falls from her lips I shudder. My eyes open to green ones, shining with unshed tears. 'It hurts.'

'I'm sorry.' I pull my hand free from hers and caress her cheek.

'For what?'

'For not being there.' She lets out a deep breath I didn't realize she was even holding.

'You can't protect me from everything. Especially not the Gods.' She looks away, eyes squeezing shut from pain.

'How did you know?'

'Artemis and Aphrodite came to me.' Her words trail off as her strength begins to wane. 'This may be our last chance.' She mumbles quietly, nearly asleep now.

'Last chance for what?'

'Us.' This is all she utters as she passes out once more. My mind is set to racing. Not only is Ares interfering in our lives, apparently Artemis and Aphrodite are as well. But what did she mean by our last chance? Trying to shove all these thoughts away, I check on her shoulder, cleaning and packing the wound again. While she is no longer pale, her body holds a slight fever that seems to keep her in a land of nightmares.

'Well warrior babe, what are you going to do?' Of course I sensed her presence long before she appeared beside the bed.

'Why is it we can't be left alone?' I snarl at her. Aphrodite for her part just smiles at me before touching her hand to Gabrielle's forehead. A twinge of jealousy bursts through me before I can stop it.

'I see you're going to need a little nudge.' She winks at me. 'When the time comes, no more excuses.' And with that she disappears in a shower of pink.


End file.
